Cherie Blair to sing at next year's Eurovision Song Contest

DeadBrain has learned that following her spectacular singing success in Beijing, where she sang the first verse of the Beatles classic "When I'm 64" to a group of students, Cherie Blair, the Prime Minister's wife, is to sing Britain's entry at next year's Eurovision Song Contest, provided a decent song can be found.

Vera, the tea lady at 10 Downing Street, told our reporter in an exclusive interview that the PM was so embarrassed by Britain's performance at this year's competition that he wants to become personally involved in the selection of both the song and the singer for the next attempt. "He was really upset," she said, "and even threatened to pull Britain out of the EU, because he thought that those who didn't like his support for George Bush had ganged up on us."

"And after hearing Cherie in China, he said 'Bingo', that's the answer," she added.

Although the selection of the British entry is intended to be free of political influence, it appears that national pride was so deeply damaged by Britain's zero point score this year that the public will accept this unprecedented approach. A survey by MORIORLESSI immediately after the 2003 competition found that 78% of Britons felt that Jemini should be banned from appearing in public ever again, and a huge 94% thought that Martin Isherwood, the composer of their song 'Cry Baby', should be put in prison and the key thrown away. A surprising 45% believed that Mr. Isherwood was in fact a French plant designed to embarrass Britain for its participation in US President "Boy" George W. Bush's war on Iraq.

The problem of a decent song for 2004 remains to be resolved, and we understand that the PM has asked Tessa Jowell, the Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport, to become personally involved. Her spokesman, Douglas Ramsbottom, refused to confirm this, but did say that Ms Jowell favoured the old style of entry, the ones with "lots of bing bong diddle diddle lyrics", as he put it. "Something like those old classics 'Jack-in-the-Box' and 'Puppet on a String'", he said.

DeadBrain asked radio and television personality Terry Wogan for his opinion on the choice of Cherie Blair. "Sure and I think that's a great idea. Cherie is a wonderful singer, me darling, and I think she would be just wonderful. I'll be behind her all the way, 100%. By the way, do you know anything about the new year's honours list?" [http://www.deadbrain.co.uk/news/article_2003_07_22_0529.php]

Palju sest kõigest nüüd tõsi on, aga üks on küll kindel - Suurimal tantsukuurordisaarel Ibizal on Cherie lugu tõusnud edetabelite ja enimmängitud lugude tippu. Way to go, Cherie!